A Shadow Lover

Late at night, as the door was kicked open, I was polishing the dagger that had been with me for three years. Ben Sheen burst in, drenched in sweat, followed by two henchmen holding Lily Smith. Lily's face was deathly pale, clutching her bleeding arm, yet her eyes bore a defiant challenge. "Julia, Lily has lost too much blood. Only your blood type can save her." Ben's voice was firm and commanding, completely ignoring the dagger I still hadn't lowered. I gripped the knife handle tightly, my knuckles whitening. "I just finished a mission and haven't even rested three hours yet." I looked at him, searching for even a trace of hesitation in his eyes. Suddenly, Lily laughed, her voice light and sharp as a needle: "Ben, give it up. Julia is your ace. She'd never agree to donate blood for a small fry like me. What if it affects her performance on her next job?" Those words hit my face like a slap. I looked at Ben, waiting for him to speak up for me. But he only furrowed his brow, his tone growing colder: "Julia, Lily is on the brink, so don't be so petty." Petty? Suddenly, I recalled the bitter oath he swore three years ago right in front of me. Back then, he wasn't the gangster leader he is now. Hunted by enemies, I carried him thirty miles through the mountains to escape. He lay on my back, his voice trembling: "Julia, in this life I only love you. If I ever betray you, I won't die well." Looking back now, that vow was thinner than paper. I followed them to the private hospital, where the nurse had already prepared the blood draw equipment. Ben stood by Lily's bedside, holding her hand and soothing her gently. I watched his retreating figure and suddenly pulled a safety amulet from my pocket. It was from last year, when he was sick—I had prayed every three steps at the temple outside the city, kowtowing for nine hundred meters to get it. I handed him the safety amulet. "Ben, do you remember this?" He glanced at it, reached out to take it, then threw it back at my face like garbage. "What time do you think it is? And you're still holding onto these useless things?" The safety amulet dropped to the floor, the red string snapped in two. I bent down to pick it up, my heart sinking completely. The nurse's needle had barely touched my arm when I suddenly raised my hand and pushed it away. I looked at Ben and said slowly, word by word, "Ben, I don't want you anymore." He froze, and Lily's smile stiffened on her face. I turned and walked away, without looking back at them once. As the door closed behind me, I heard Lily's low laugh and Ben's furious shout. But I don't feel any pain at all anymore. After all, when your heart dies, you feel nothing.